The unfriendly skies of United

I despise United Airlines. I avoid it like the plague, unless it is the only game in town. Unfortunately, that is sometimes the case.

Less than two weeks after I reluctantly booked United for a roundtrip flight from Newark to Palm Springs, an automated message arrived on my phone regarding changes to my carefully-chosen flight itinerary. But the machine was so slow in delivering its message that my tape, which is programmed to take 60-second messages only, hung up before the entire message was received.

That meant I had to call United, which is practically impossible if it means finding a toll-free number on their website.

I finally reached an agent with a severe language barrier and was able to get assigned seats on my four flight segments. But when I inquired about getting into an exit row, she said (1) I could only get an exit row seat at the airport or on the internet 24 hours in advance of departure but (2) that all exit row seats were taken anyway.

If it's only possible to book exit row seats within 24 hours of departure, how did exit row seats disappear a month in advance? Also, isn't United one of those money-hungry carriers with the audacity to charge a fee for extra-row seats?

Unwilling and unable to find the phone number again -- since I still didn't know the revised flight schedule -- I sent an e.mail to the media relations department at United. After all, I am a long-time member of the travel media.

Not surprisingly, I received no reply. And still don't know my schedule, since United -- in its infinite wisdom -- apparently decided to change it on a whim.

Mind you, this is the same airline that routinely delays, cancels, or diverts flights, rarely giving passengers any explanation, and accumulates more posted internet complaints that any other carrier. Those complaints catagorize United employees as uninformed, uncaring, arrogant, and rude. True service with a sneer.

When a friend flew United recently but also had to take another airline on the same trip, United lost her luggage and claimed it had no record of it. After a series of endless phone calls, most of them unreturned or answered by machines, the bag miraculously appeared. I'm convinced it was the OTHER carrier -- AirTran -- that found it. By the way, the same problem occurred on the return portion of the trip.

All the while, United and AirTran insisted they had no reciprocal baggage transfer agreements with each other. Nobody knew their ass from their elbow,
but that's getting to be par for the course in the airline industry. Only JetBlue and Southwest, the two top discounters, seem to be exempt.

No wonder people hate to fly -- even before they head to the airport.

http://www.DanSchlossberg.com